my husband wants to have sex with another girl OR have threesome. Its long but PLEASE read it?
We are newly wed. less than a year. Before we dated he told me that he have problem with his sex drive which is very high that even ended up going to the doctor about it but the doctor said enjoy it as he is young.
He had 2 serious relationship before me and others are fling(one night stand as what you called).
He grew up in the states and I grew up in the Philippines. Maybe culture difference about being so liberal in sex? He is also a Muslim and I was a catholic and newly converted, maybe another factor?
I am the only asian girl he ever dated and now he wants to try another asian girl, and he said if I want to have threesome with him.
He is very open to me and I appreciate it. I want to get mad and scream at him because I think he is sick but I dont want him to hide anything from me. Now he started deleting the history of the computer, logs from his phone. I caught him one time signing up a live sex chat on, and also caught him looking on website where you pay girls.
I am very conservative but I am learning and trying to be open. There are things he wants that I do for him.
What should I do? I love him so much. Should I hypnotize myself and have threesome than to let him sleep with another girl? I am scared he will do it and hide it from me. I cant sleep lately about this.
FOr those who had threesome, did it affect your relationship? and how? good or bad?
Did you do it to a stranger or friend? He wants a ffm. Its driving me crazy
May 24th, 2010 at 5:59 am
Have you heard the phrase, “When you’re a hammer, everything’s a nail”? Your husband is a hammer looking to hit on anything that breathes – it seems.
Right now, your man is obsessed with sex. Many would call it an addiction, but I think it is a behavior problem … it’s more of a character issue than anything. It is a conscious CHOICE he is making. He won’t have withdrawls if he stops thinking about sex or having sex, which is why I don’t call it an addiction. This is a behavior issue and it IS COMPLETELY within his control. He has just indulged himself for so long that he doesn’t know the concept of self-control.
He will probably never admit to this, so don’t try to make him.
Threesomes are a double edged sword, and usually a bad idea. Clearly you are uncomfortable with this idea, and that means you shouldn’t do it. NEVER do anything that you aren’t 100% happy with doing. Don’t get hypnotized. He will just have to live with disappointment.
Because of HIS obsession with sex, you are now equally obsessed only in terms of whether or not he will be happy with just you.
Whatever you do … don’t do the threesome. It’s not right for YOU and that’s all that matters. Others might have had a positive experience, but they were probably more open to it, and ready for whatever consequences happened. YOU are not open to it, and you have that right. I couldn’t – no way. The idea of watching my man enjoy his body with someone other than me is not my idea of a good time.
I wish I could be more helpful, but unless he admits to having a problem and gets himself under control, you won’t have any peace.
Best of luck, hon, and Godspeed
May 24th, 2010 at 6:43 am
There are people who deal with Sexual Disorders. Go see one!
His Dr. was a fool to tell him to enjoy it … it is one thing to love sex with the one you are with, it’s another when you have a disfunction.
If you agree to a 3 some then you can plan on your life to never be the same. Marriage is about 2 people NOT 3, in the bedroom. He is WRONG to ask you to do this. Anyone that I have ever known to do this has had bad affects afterwards. It isn’t a normal thing that a married couple does……. get help!
May 24th, 2010 at 7:22 am
The tradition in his country are unreal, so, Love to him is not meant to be, try an reason with this person if you want to call him that. Or, File for divorce and change states.
May 24th, 2010 at 8:17 am
OMG!!!! Marrying a sex-holoc isn’t the smartest move!!
Tell him ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! on any of it. Once you start he’s not just going to say, wow, that was fun and NOT want to do it again, again, again.
Films end up everywhere, so NIX THAT TOO!!!
You married a guy that’s not very moral or he wouldn’t want a 3some.
May 24th, 2010 at 8:59 am
Was he in the military? if he was the military men travel all over the world and see some really freaky stuff while they are very young and easily influenced and usually under the influence of alcohol. He may care about you and want a marriage with you but at the same time he has all these fantasies going on in his head. Its dangerous.
Dont do anything you have a little voice inside you saying not to do. If you dont learn to listen to that little voice you will be in for alot of empty sad holes in your heart. If you have to change to keep him you wont keep him long anyway cause one of you will loose respect and trust for the other. Remember the words of Tigress Luv “Love grows where trust is laid, Love dies where trust is betrayed.”
I think you are hurting and it is because you are trying to submit yourself to things you dont really want to keep this man. Is he worth dying inside for? He has a sexual addiction and he isnt going to change until he decides he wants to change. I hope you can find answers, listen to your heart.
May 24th, 2010 at 9:44 am
Don’t do it because it makes you feel the way you do. There is another problem here. See for yourself.
http://sa.org/